Don’t Give Them Ammo: The Power of Your Words and Who You Share Them With

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." — Proverbs 18:21

If you believe in the truth of Proverbs 18:21, this post is for you.

Whether or not someone considers themselves a Christian, this principle remains true—our words hold power. Real, tangible, life-or-death power. What we speak shapes our reality, our health, our relationships, and even our emotions.

In fact, over the last decade, science has caught up with Scripture. There are now studies proving how words—both spoken and written—can affect plants, water molecules, and even the human brain. Words carry frequency. They carry weight. They do something.

So if words create, here’s the hard truth: every time we speak, we are either planting life or sowing death. Which brings me to what I’ve been sitting with lately.

Be Careful Who You Share With

Recently, a few friends asked me how I’ve been doing. And here’s the thing—I’m very intentional with who I open up to. Yes, the Bible is filled with examples of people pouring their hearts out. David shared his pain, his doubts, his despair. He processed deeply. He was vulnerable. And it wasn’t wrong. But David shared his soul with the Lord—and with people who would speak truth back.

I believe in doing the same. I’ve learned that not everyone should be trusted with your vulnerable moments. Not because they’re bad people, but because not everyone knows how to respond in a way that builds life.

Some friends, when you share your struggles, will unintentionally echo your pain. They’ll say things like,
“Oh girl, I’d be upset too.”
“Yeah, your spouse was wrong for that.”
“You have every right to be mad.”

And maybe I do feel all of that… but does reinforcing it help? Or does it just let my emotions spiral deeper into the pit?

Then there are the other kind of friends. The life-givers. The ones who can hold space for your hurt but refuse to let you stay there. The ones who gently but boldly point you back to truth. They might say:

“I hear you… but let’s remember what God says about your marriage.”
“Can I pray for you right now?”
“This isn’t the end. God redeems all things.”

Those are the voices that speak life.

Process, but Don’t Camp There

This isn’t about pretending everything is fine. We should be honest about what we’re walking through. But we need to be wise about where we lay our burdens down.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” — Galatians 6:2

God created us for community. There’s power in confession, in processing pain. But what we don’t need is our grief echoed and multiplied. We don’t need our doubt affirmed or our fears rehearsed. We need our words met with heaven’s truth.

Choose Friends Who Echo Heaven

The world is loud with opinions, but heaven speaks a better word. You need people in your life who will speak that Word over your situation. People who won’t let your emotions lead your outcome. People who know how to respond in love, but also in boldness.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” — Ephesians 4:29

Be that kind of friend. And surround yourself with those kinds of friends too.

So yes—share your heart like David. Sit for a moment in your sorrow. Process your feelings with the Lord and with wise counsel.

But when you speak, choose life.

And when you listen, don’t give the enemy ammo by repeating what hell is saying—repeat what heaven is declaring instead.